COVID has given each of us time to reflect. The past 14 months have been life-altering in so many different ways. As we come out of the darkness of fear, there is now the new challenge of how to move forward. Life as we know it has literally turned upside down. I have spent more time over the past few months trying to figure out what my next steps should be. How can I come out of this past experience as a better educator, a better spouse, a better person? And what I have learned recently is the key is simply to take the steps.
I have been working on a few writing projects over the past few months. Pushed by colleagues and my family, I have just begun to revisit my doctoral work, with a new lens. Time, distance, and experience have allowed me to be able to begin to sort through the work with a new set of eyes, and that is exciting. Today I found an essay I wrote during the work called “Moving from Passion to Clarity to Action Creating Identity as a Social Justice Leader” that gave me a window into my evolution as a person and an educator and I realize that my belief in what students can become has always driven my work. Throughout the years I have fought for a better educational system for the communities in which I worked. When I felt that students needed a voice or advocate, I was the first to stand strong. I went to school board meetings to challenge curriculum changes that would negatively impact my students, boundary changes that may limit their access, and spoke at conferences on the power of student’s voice, choice, and empowerment. I wrote often, spoke at conferences, and created spaces for students to do so as well.
But over the past year, I have been mostly silent. COVID created this giant void of more public forums to share my thinking. My time has been spent instead focusing on supporting students on a more personal and individual level through these challenging times. No longer was I the creator of the curriculum or the space, but instead, a student coach as they navigate school virtually. It has been difficult to be on what I considered the outside looking in, but I have discovered that this year has given me the opportunity to see educational structures with a new lens, and to hone my counseling and literacy support skills in new and effective ways. I have learned to not speak for my students, but instead coach and empower them to speak for themselves.
This hasn’t been an easy transition. In these past 7 months, I have struggled to face my own truths, my own personal questions on what it means to be a true educational leader. I don’t have the official title at the moment, but I have come to realize that the title actually means very little. Leadership comes not with a title, but instead, it comes with the brave work of not only speaking your own truth but using your power and privilege to give others the opportunity to share theirs. Social justice leadership is at my core, It is not a workshop or an instructional model, it’s a way of being. I have been forced to really look inward, unpacking and challenging my own goals, to discover the fire that keeps me in education, and to explore new ways in which to bring about positive change.
Before COVID shut down our educational world as we knew it, I had begun thinking about stepping out of my comfort zone yet again and looking toward site administration. When my world came crashing down and my role changed so dramatically, I had to finally stop, reflect, and redefine who I am now and where I want to go next. I have been applying virtually for site leadership positions over the past year, and although I have come close to obtaining positions, I have yet to be a match. I have learned a lot about interviewing, and paperwork, and one-minute video elevator speeches that essentially need to succinctly define who I am. However, it is only recently that I am feeling confident enough to frame my leadership and my potential in ways that highlight my experience and passions, not trying to fit in, but instead highlight how I can enhance the program or site to which I am applying. Even putting this out into the world right here marks a change in my mindset. Rereading my words from my past have fueled my determination to make a difference for staff and students in my near future. I am determined to create a space for students and staff to thrive, wherever that may lie.